Emotions

Wow it’s been a long time since I posted. The last few days have really made me think I need to get back into blogging, as I am not good at keeping a journal. So in the last few days I have been on an emotional roller coaster of emotions and now on shaky ground and not sure how to proceed.

Emotion one Grief: Last week my Young Women’s advisor passed away she was only 42 years old and left behind a husband and two kids. Although I had not seen her for many years she still held a dear place in my heart as she got me through some rough times as a teen. To say the least I was shocked how could someone so young, so loving, so spiritual leave this earth so soon with no warning. Then I thought of her family, her husband who found her, her son who just got married and his new wife. I then thought of her daughter who is good friends with my sister, at such a vulnerable age of 16. I then remembered when I was 16 and I don’t think I would have made it through those teen years with out my mother. I thought I did not need parents to always look out for me and to tell me what to do I was an adult and I could make my own decisions. We yelled and screamed at each other countless times and we didn’t see eye to eye. But when I broke up with a guy or had a hard day I always went to her for advice. And as the years went by and I grew up, yes I grew up matured a little, I realized that my mother was and is my best friend. So my heart goes out to my Young Women’s leader’s family but my heart breaks for her 16 year old daughter who just lost her best friend, she may not realize it now but that is what a mother is to her grown daughter, a best friend.

Emotion two longing: So over the weekend after the funeral we went to a dear friends house for dinner and so that my husband could help her husband install a ceiling fan. The night was good we went Target with the kids and picked up dinner so we were out of the guys way. As the hours passed and the fan still not working we put the kids to bed and then watched as they tried to figure it out. Now I know that this may not make since that I was longing for something other than my bed but I was. My dear friend you see is pregnant she is about to give birth to I am sure a perfect baby boy (hopefully sooner than later). So as you may know babies are more active at night or when the mom is being still. As the late hours of the night turned into the wee hours of the morning her little one became active. I could see him kicking and moving in her tummy. And all I could do is wish that I could one day feel that same feeling. Even though it must have been painful but the miracle of having a baby grow inside you and feeling that precious little one move has got to be amazing. Now some of you are saying but, but you have a little girl. I know I am truly blessed to have Charlie in my life and would not trade her for anything. But I still at times long to be pregnant to be normal and not have to fight the pain that my body has betrayed me. So as I sat in her chair rocking my dear sweet and sometimes mischievous little Charlie I could not stop myself from longing to be pregnant. Which if you know me I have struggled to over come. I have succeeded at times and failed at others. So I will end this emotion by stating, me ever being pregnant again is not in the cards for us. As I try to shut, lock and board up that path in my life I know that this longing feeling will sometimes unlock the door break down the boards and open the door once again and it may happen more often than I would like. All I have to do is remember the path that we are on with adoption and how strong my testimony has become because of it. And the miracle that we received a little over a year ago by receiving Charlie was a true blessing and answers to my prayers. I am sure I will feel this longing again when I go visit my dear friend in the hospital and hold her new little boy in my arms but I will go home and hold my little girl and remember God has chosen this path for me for a reason and maybe one day I will be able to put this longing behind me.

Emotion three Gratitude: Now after not so fun emotions I am truly grateful for what I have. In the past year we have experienced many great blessings the most obvious is being able to adopt Charlie, then 6 months later going to court and having a judge sign off on the adoption than the next day go to the temple as a family and have Charlie sealed for time and all eternity to Derek and I, what a wonderful weekend. Over the next few months we enjoyed just being a family. Going “trick-or-treating” for the first time to spending her first Thanksgiving together and watching her learn how to crawl. Then came Christmas. Charlie was so spoiled and so was I. New Years came and went without a bang for us. I got a new position at work and Charlie started walking (not this little accomplishment is keeping us on our tows). Then a little over a week ago Derek accepted a new job which is lateral for now but has room for growth which he did not have at his last job. I know that we are truly blessed that we have a beautiful roof over our head clothes on our back and food in our tummies.

Emotion four wanting: I am not sure that this should be counted as and emotion but I am fed up with how I look and feel. The past few years I have not taken care of myself as I should. I put on a lot of unwanted weight after losing the baby 3+ years ago and the bad eating habits I have learned. Over the last few years I have yo-yoed on and off diets but now its time for a life style change. So about a month ago I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw so I hit rock bottom and am taking charge of my life. So I started Weightwatchers. I am losing weight and seeing deference. I have goals set and want and need to look good for my self. So I am trying to decide if I should put on the swimsuit (one that I want to fit back into by the time we go on the cruise in December) and take a picture but to be honest I am a little scared. I think it will help me keep motivated but still not sure so I will think about it…….


So as I end this emotional list of things I have been feeling I hope that I can continue to grow and over come some of these feelings but other I hope to hold stronger to and draw from.

My Miss Priss Boutique: 5th giveaway is........

My Miss Priss Boutique: 5th giveaway is........: My new collecection of headbands!!! You get one of each in your choice of size!!! SO fun! This is a $48 dollar value! All you need to do...

Charlie is almost ours... Forever!

I can’t believe that it’s already been almost 6 months since we were blessed with becoming parents to our little girl. It’s been so much fun getting to know her and watching her reach so many milestones. In the last month she has learned to roll from her tummy to her back and then just last week she has learned to roll form het back to her tummy so needless to say we cannot keep her in one spot. She is also standing with help from us but she is standing! She has found her voice and will not stop talking I love listening to her talk up a storm I just wish I knew what she was saying I am sure it’s interesting. I was also worried about how the dogs were going to react to her but, her an Ruby are best friends and Charlie laughs every time Ruby walks past her it so cute. Sammie is still trying to adjust but is getting better every day. We have been so excited planning the sealing and blessing the last few weeks that when we found out that we got the hardest judge for adoption we got a little worried. Ok not just a little I am terrified because he requires an FBI background check and the state only requires a general background check. So what did we do the general background check. So we are a week and a half out from out court date and we and now going to have to do a FBI background check. It normally takes 1-2 weeks to get it as you can see we don’t have 2 weeks to wait. We also have sent out the announcements to our family to inform them of sealing and blessing date and the birth family has made arrangements to come into town to be a part of this special day. So now we are praying that the background check will be back on time. We hope that we can become an eternal family on August 6th so as I leave this in the hands of god I have to ask for all you’re to pray that this will run smooth and we can seal and bless our baby girl as soon as possible. Thank you all for the support and prayers that I know will be sent out way.

It' a girl!!!!

On January 5th we were contacted by our caseworker that there was a birthmom trying to get ahold of us. Shortly after the phone call we were emailed by the birthmom. We exchanged a few emails that night and talked to her on the phone the next day, where she said she would like to help us start our family.

We decided to make a trip to Dayton Nevada a few days later to meet with her and her family. At the time she was 8 months along but felt like she could give birth at any time.

Shortly after coming home she informed us that she could go into labor within the week, so we scrambled to get enough baby stuff to get by until we found out the sex. On Thursday at 7:15 am we got a call that she was on her way to the hospital. We thought we would be driving to Nevada that day, but the hospital would not admit her since she was not dilated enough. She then continued to have contractions all through the weekend. On Monday she went to her weekly doctors appointment and the doctor thought she was still a few weeks from having the baby. A few hours after her appointment she started going into labor so we hurried and left for Reno.

At 9:23 pm Charlie Anne Money was born!!!
5lbs 12 oz. and 18 inches long

TIME FLYS !!!!

Wow it’s been awhile since I have last blogged. Derek and I have been up to so much the last four months.

In October we were able to spend lots of time with family and friends. We went camping with Derek’s side of the family. I was able to take a girls trip to St. George with my Mom and sister to see Thriller, Yes it was as good as everyone says. After long months of studying for the Real Estate test I passed with flying colors which I was so nervous about.

In November we were so lucky to take another trip with Derek’s parents to St. George for a long weekend to relax and enjoy their company. We were also blessed to be able to see both of our family’s this year for Thanksgiving and we stuffed ourselves with turkey, mashed potatoes and pie! The next Morning I was crazy enough the get up at 2:30am to stand in line at Target for a TV for Derek but to be gypped out of it because the guy in front of me took two and another lady had taken five, yes I said five. I have no idea why she would need five TV’s but she did. (This is not fair to the rest of us who stood in line just as long and froze) But we were able to get him a TV by the end of the day and he has been so excited to play his COD now that he can actually see the other players. Shortly after Thanksgiving and lots of cleaning on both our parts (yes I went overboard and re organized everything in our house in preparation for our home study.) we were approved for adoption, now the wait begins!

In December on of our neighbors alerted me of a job opening at her work and so I applied because of the awesome pay and benefits and low and behold I got the job! I started Monday and I have been learning lots and an so excited for the possibilities that it will bring to our family.

Now as the Christmas season is upon us and the craziness is starting I find myself looking back over the past year in amazement of how far we have come as individuals and as a family. I am so grateful for the opportunities that have presented themselves we have been truly blessed. I cannot wait to see what the New Year has in store for us.

Thank you all for you love and friendship over the year and we hope you have a Merry Christmas and have a happy new year!

Love The Money’s